Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014 Goals

I kind of hate resolutions. I always feel like they have the opportunity to haunt me if they're left unfulfilled on December 31st. But at the same time, life is about having room for improvement, and goals are good for focus. We all need them, and we all make them, even if we don't think of them as goals. I have a lot of them, and some probably will fall by the wayside, and I'm going to be okay with that. In my mind, they're on a spectrum - goals that need to be achieved all the way down to stuff that would be nice to do, but I'm not going to beat myself up over a "failure." It wouldn't even be a failure - more like icing on the cake.

So, kind of in order of importance, my 2014 goals:


Increasing intimacy, making memories, starting traditions, taking more pictures, traveling more, showing my genuine appreciation. This is our 6th year together, and he is my everything and we're happy and comfortable and I'm loving life as husband and wife. But this is the prime of our lives, and I think it's time for us to really start enjoying some of those perks of being a family of two. I want us to be more carefree and spontaneous, to really seize moments and do new things together.

I'm starting the year lighter than in 2013, which is good, but I'm no where near where I'd like to be. Losing 10 pounds in 2013, as little at that is, showed me I can do it, and it wasn't that hard. I eat pretty healthy most of the time. It's eating out where I get in trouble, and I tend to lose track of just how many treats I allow. We get lazy and toss the meal plan in favor of take-out. So I want to be more conscious of all of that, as well as remember that if I screw up in the morning and have a coworker's homemade cookie, it doesn't have to mean I'm done for the rest of the day. My daily food plan includes breakfast smoothies, healthy snacks, salads for lunch, and delicious but sensible dinners. I'm also not going to focus so much on the number on the scale as how I feel. I have a pant size goal in mind, and I think that's more important.

Bad Habits
In college, I was a closet smoker. Mostly, I picked it up working at restaurants - if you smoked, you got breaks. Horrible excuse, but I can't think of why else I decided it was a good idea to start. I kept it up when I graduated, all the way up until I met Buddy. I hid it from him and decided I didn't want him to be with a smoker, so I quit cold turkey one day. I didn't tell him until months later that I even did it. That was over 5 years ago, and it stuck until around October-ish last year, when for some reason, I started again and it became a regular habit by about March 2013. Stupid. And it needs to stop. Again. So as of yesterday, I don't smoke anymore. I know, I make it sound easy. I'm sure I'll be a grouch and I'll struggle, but this is top priority, and I will quit again. Will.

I'm also not really happy with my wine habit. For some reason, with wine - not beer, and I don't really drink liquor - when I have a glass, it turns into more. I don't like it. So wine is going to be out for a long while. Yeah, I'm gonna miss it - I enjoy wine, but I'm fearful of developing a real problem that I don't feel power over, so I'm putting my good senses to work and avoiding a bigger issue.

Mental Health
I've talked before about how my best friend's pregnancy was a complete shitshow of emotions for me. And now, my sister's pregnant, and will be moving to my metro area (we haven't lived within a 2 hour drive our entire adult lives). It's going to be difficult at times as I watch her give my parents their first grandchild and enjoy all those moments  I wanted. It's unique because it's my sister and not a friend. We've struggled with our relationship in the past, and I struggle with my relationship with my mom at times in relation to infertility,  so this is just something I need some extra care for right now. So, I'm back in therapy and will be working on tools and strategies with my counselor.


Yay, I have a new budget! I spreadsheeted it and everything, and set goals and budgets for individual categories that I'm going to be diligent about monitoring in 2014. We have both worked really hard in the last couple of years to build our savings and get rid of debt that he had before we married and that we accumulated together. We consolidated debts and should have that paid off by the end of the year. But my goal this year is to really build on that savings, as well as be better about my budget and setting some allowances for myself. I hate when I buy frivolous things I can't even remember and then don't have the money for the fun stuff I'd rather have. I have goals for trips this year and things I want to do in our home, and it's important to me that those are saved for specifically. I'm also eliminating about $100-125 a month (I KNOW!) in work cafeteria spending.

I think our marriage would benefit from Buddy being more involved in our finances. Currently, I handle all the bill paying and we keep separate accounts. I don't have a problem with this, but Buddy is total oblivious aside from being told by me when he owes for something, and quite honestly, I don't really think that's fair anymore. We should both be invested, and we should both know how much money we have where, rather than me being the owner of that info and feeling the sole pressure of maintaining it.

Other Stuff

Attend Advocacy Day in May and fund raise $500 for the Walk of Hope. Resolve involvement in general is going to be a big focus this year. I have a lot on my plate. It's going to put my organization and time-management skills to the test. I need to not be afraid to ask for help or guidance - this is all new for me, and my goal is to both give and take when it comes to resources so that this experience can have the best possible outcome for my community.

Figure out my next career move. Whether I stay with my company or not, I'm doing some reflecting and thinking about what I'd like to do next. I'd like to find a mentor in this, and I need to make more networking efforts. Ideally, I'll end the year making more money, but if I stay with my company, that may not happen, as any move would be lateral. Still, I think it's reasonable to ask for an increase in compensation, even if I don't get it.

Use my planner weekly to keep track of my to-do list and projects.

Be a better friend - send cards, or texts. Let them know I'm thinking of them. Wonderful people have held me up the last two years, and it's time to pay it forward.

I want to train the dogs better. We've gotten somewhat lazy, but we need to work on jumping up on tables (Sparrow, looking at you), and barking in the yard in particular.

Buddy got me a Canon Rebel for Christmas, and I'm determined to take a class to learn how to use it.

Bake more - I love decorating cookies. I want to get better at it, so that I can potentially make some more side money selling them. But I need to hone my skills and learn new techniques to feel more comfortable doing so. Even though it's time consuming, and even though it's messy.

Grow my support group and possibly start a new one for other childfree-after-IF couples/women. Support groups aren't something anyone wants to have to join. But I want to reach out to the community more, as well as try some new things like book reviews and guest speakers.

Blog more.

Be a fun auntie.

Have fun with makeup and learn some skills.

Organize and purge my closet at least twice. Replace purged items with quality wardrobe pieces. I really want to dress better at work, so it's time to get rid of the crap and "dress for the job I want."

What are your goals for 2014?