Monday, January 16, 2012

Shit Fertiles Say

I may or may not have spent my lunch break on Friday watching videos on YouTube called "Shit Girls Say," "Shit Guys Say," and their many iterations. Shit White Girls Say to Arab/Black/Asian Girls. Shit Christians Say to Jews. Shit Vegans Say. You should check them out. All hilarious, yet totally cringeworthy because I'm sure these are actually things the targets hear often. And I started to realize that someone needs to make one called, "Shit Fertiles Say." Even though I don't have a video camera and I'm not about to run out to get one, the transcript for such a video has been running through my head all weekend. I'm sure if you watch enough of the inspiration videos on YouTube you could imagine what it would look like. But here's my transcript.

"When are you guys having babies?"

"Are you propping your hips up?"

"You guys are doing it, right?"

"You have to get busy on the 14th day. Otherwise it won't work."

"My sister's friend's hairdresser's aunt's mailman was infertile and then they stopped trying and she was knocked up like that" ::finger snap::

"When are you guys having babies?"

"You should just adopt"



"You're selfish if you don't adopt"

"Maybe God doesn't mean for you to be a mom"

"Are you sure you're doing it right?"

"Ugh, he just breeeeathes on me and I get preggers."

"You want kids? Spend a day with my little terrors, you'll see."

"You know what you need? A vacation. Then you can relax"




"You need to get drunk and do it."

"Why would you do Clomid? It causes multiples. Like Jon and Kate."

"When are you guys having babies?"

"Ooooooh, you know who's pregnant? My 16-year-old cousin."

"Stop trying and relax."

"You can borrow my husband's sperm."

"If you were supposed to have a baby, you'd get pregnant."

"Obviously, it's just not your time."

"You'll never get pregnant if you don't relax."

"My sister tried for a long time. It took her like 3 months."

"Just do IVF."


"Stop trying"


"Worse things can happen."

"Are you sure you're doing it right?"

"I bet I know what the problem is.... you need to relax"


Kathy4678 said...

Ugh. These make me want to vag punch someone. Fo Sho.

btay said...

My face is now in a perma cringe

Shana said...

Are you sure you're doing it right??? Really?

The stupidity of people is amazing.

The next time someone says that to you, you should laugh hysterically and walk away.

Vanessa said...

People don't understand that even without fertility problems it can take a while to conceive. I'd confided in a close friend that we wanted to conceive and several months later she asked me how it was going, and when I said (in a non-worried tone) that nothing had happened yet she said 'why do you think it's taking so long, what do you think is wrong'. I didn't expect that and it upset me.

AmyLou said...

UGH. People are so obnoxious. I've had pretty much all of this said to me. Don't forget "I'll just be your surrogate, because I'm super fertile"...Ummm, no.