Tomorrow is IUD Day. I know our decision to not continue TTC or use ART and then to now TTA may not be for everyone. I get that, and I understand and respect it. But I am a ball of emotion today. When I read Sweet Grapes it brought me so much comfort, and so much validation in regard to so many things I was feeling. One of the things the couple who wrote the book talked about was affirming the decision to be CFNBC. And they chose to affirm by going back to birth control. I explained it in a previous post, but for me, I need some control. I need to know what the next couple of years will look like while we do the things we've planned "instead." I hated being "late" and wondering what if. I don't want that anymore.
I want this. And yet, I have a heavy heart. It's truly a closing of a chapter. I know it's what's right for us. I'm anxious though, in part because my OB/GYN insists on inserting the IUD during menstruation. I would have liked to wait until Monday, but the triage nurse scheduling my appointment informed me that since I've never given birth (gut punch), a doctor had to perform the procedure and there were no appointments available on Monday. So I feel icky and sad, and I have to go be naked and icky in front of a man doctor I don't know so I can formally put the TTC nail in the coffin.
Like I said, I know you readers may not agree with our decision. But this has been a discussion for months, and we feel confident in it. If you could spare some loving thoughts, I'd appreciate it.