Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Lemonade

As much as IF sucks, I can't deny that there are some things I feel fortunate (?) to be missing out on. They're kind of stupid, in the grand scheme of things, but they're still things I'm glad at times to not be dealing with. And hey, you have to make lemonade when life hands you lemons, right?

Maternity Jeans. From observing the pregnant women in my office and their selection of jeans, I'd be screwed. Has anyone else noticed that maternity pants in general seem to only come in one length, and that one length seems to be 2" too short so everyone seems to be waiting on a flood? I don't have incredibly long legs, but I always by long length jeans. Maternity jeans would be an issue for me, I think.

Mom Wars. Breastfeeding, cloth diapering, vaccinating, baby wearing, circumcising, homemade organic fooding. It seems like any and every topic in terms of babies these days starts a mommy war. Everyone has an opinion, and no one else with a differing one can be right. On some things, I have an opinion, on others, I don't. Mostly, I am open-minded to whatever would work best for me, Buddy, and our offspring. If breastfeeding doesn't work, fine. Formula feed. I'm not opposed to changing plans when our chosen method doesn't work for our family. But it seems like there's always someone who would be ready and willing to squash that thinking and say, "no, it has to be done this way or your baby will grow three eyes/be autistic (for example since it seems like everyone wants to link everything to autism the last few years)/be behind in development." I can honestly say I'm perfectly fine with not having to have anything to do with any of that right now.

Control over life. With a baby comes loss of control, especially in the early days. I don't sleep in often, but today I lazed in bed cuddling with Buddy and the pups until 9am. I ate cereal when I was hungry, and I haven't showered yet because I don't feel like it yet. Last night I spent over an hour doing crafts and sipping wine before settling in to play video games with my husband. That would all change with a wee one. I'd gladly rather have a howling little thing to keep me awake and out of bed, give up breakfast and not shower for a week, but I love that our life has freedom to do what we want when we want.

Childcare. I'll be honest. One thing that really freaks me out about the thought of a baby is childcare. I would never be able to not work financially, and I'm not even sure I'd want to be a stay-at-home mom. But something about having to find someone to trust with my baby for 9 hours a day is daunting. How would I even do that? And what if it falls through? A fellow blog friend recently had to find new childcare for her son and it was really stressful. I'm honestly glad I don't have to worry about that.

Splitting attention with the pups. Everyone says that you can love your pets whole-heartedly before kids, but as soon as baby comes along, they get forgotten. The thought just breaks my heart. I can't imagine not giving our girls the love and attention we give them. I get sad when I allow myself to think from their point of view, wondering if they would be sad that we would push them away or shush them in favor of the comfort of the baby. I don't ever want our dogs to feel outed or demoted in importance in our home.

Also, on a side note, it discourages me when people tell me that my dogs aren't kids and I have no concept of loving a child because my dogs aren't humans. I get that I have no concept of that (thanks for the reminder), but without children, they're the closest thing I have. I care for them, protect them, keep them healthy and happy. I'd be devastated if something happened to them. They are our babies, and they'll always be the first little creatures we were ever responsible for.


Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say, don't worry about your dogs feeling demoted - if you love them that much, they probably won't feel that way. In all of the families that I have seen with deeply loved dogs before the baby was born, the dogs have been kept as a central part of the family.

Often the dogs feel like they are also the 'parents' or 'protectors' to the baby. I think that it's an incredible phenomenon. I wish I could show you all of the pictures I've seen of beloved family 'pets' watching over the new born baby.


Kelly said...

Best of luck to you on your journey!! I started following your blog from the TTGP boards on TB.

Just a side note - maternity jeans come in short, regular & long - just like normal jeans :)